About ivanjosh

Life is like an adventure with many surprises, some of them exciting while others hurting. As we navigate the many unique paths in our journey on earth , each one of us desires that the best of events comes along . Unfortunately as most of us have discovered, this isn’t always the case . As we grow up we learn that co existing with fellow human beings and the rest of nature can only be enjoyable if we play our part of being loving, peaceful, helpful , content and patient . In doing so , we always hope that the rest will do the same though still this is not always the case. How we handle those who don`t is what makes us different from others. Ivan has grown up in many different ecological niches.A husband and a father, Ivan spent most of his life in Africa. The transition to North America has given him a different taste of climate, culture, friends and many more. One fact remains, the world is a beautiful place; God made it perfect for us to live in. As a Christian , Ivan shares his view of how to appreciate,celebrate and utilize the variety of pleasant experiences we encounter in life and how to handle the many complex real life challenges we face. As we read , we have the liberty to contribute through comments to the extent we fill comfortable.

Avoid being double sided

For the purpose of this post, my meaning for double sided is when one portrays themselves differently in different situations. I would like to imply that such a person has two versions of themselves, and my reference today concerns Christians.

One version , the acceptable version is when one depicts themselves as expected for a believer. The unacceptable version being when one exhibits attributes of a non believer. The first version is the kind ,positive, well behaved and caring persona when one is around their family and friends, as well as church mates. Where as the second version is the hidden one, exhibited when one allows the devil to take over or control their lives. Such may be the case when one is with people who do not know that the person is a  Christian. One example would be one who uses indecent language when his wife is not around. Another example is some one engaging in gossip or slanderous talk when in company of certain friends who are non Christians.  It could be a wife who is addicted to spending so much money  on things that she knows would not please her husband, given the family`s financial situation and she works so hard to conceal this. This version could also be as extreme as the committing of adultery by the same husband who shows his wife that he cares about  her  so much and can never have intimate relations with another person.

Being neither hot nor cold is talked about in Revelations 3: 14 – 22 (Please read).  Such people are destroying themselves because they only care about what people see and not doing the will of God. They need to repent to get redemption.

“Secret” to happy living

Water run into my hair and trickled down my body. This feeling of warm water flowing over me as I listened to a worship song (singing along as well) was an interesting experience less than an hour ago.

I suddenly got reminded of one “secret” to happy living. Its not really a secret. Its always there but we don`t pay attention to it. If we decide that nothing else matters except the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and doing His will, a feeling of fresh joy, fulfillment and happiness will come right away. If we remember that our life on earth is temporary, we shall not put emphasis on what earthly life has to offer. Suddenly the realization will come that our energy should be focused on fulfilling the will of God, rather than trying on our own to find solutions to the many challenges we face on earth. Please read 2nd Corinthians 4:16-18.

When we reach this point in life, that nothing on earth matters besides living for Jesus,  all the problems we face will be lower than us so that we over come and conquer them with ease. Then we shall ask ourselves why we had not yet realized this “secret” that was always before us.

My prayer today

Dear God, My prayer today is not for you to increase my material possessions or physical prosperity. No, its not for me to be promoted at  work nor is it for me to gain the highest academic achievements. My prayer today is not for my family to become rich or for my relatives to become famous. I am not praying for an expensive car or for a mansion. I know that peace is not about what we have. Some things money just can`t buy . Those things that can`t perish nor can thieves steal. Joy and love do not require fat bank accounts for one to get them, neither does gold and silver guarantee happiness. The brevity of earthly life is indication to the wise that we should focus on what assures us of eternal happiness, yet many times our desire for immediate gratification clouds our judgement and discernment of right from wrong. I pray today that you grant me the favour to know you and our Lord Jesus. I pray that your spirit shall guide each and everything I do. I pray that seeking you and doing your will shall be my source of joy and happiness. I pray the same for my family, relatives , friends and all human kind. In Jesus` name I pray Amen

What causes infidelity

Recently someone expressed regrets to something she did a fews years ago. Lets call her “Tracy” ( Not real name ). Tracy said that she cheated on her husband with a married man. In earlier years , Tracy had cherished their marriage and considered her self lucky to have a good husband.  Lets call him X .What then happened down the road that she could cheat on him?

I asked Tracy the same question and she gave me her response.  She was not receiving the same good treatment from X as she did before and the “emotional connection” between them had waned. He also constantly expressed anger over simple things which causes fear in her when around him. She finds it difficult to express her emotions and feelings to him which is also affecting their intimacy. Husbands are told in Ephesians  5: 25 to love their wives the way christ loved the church. Love  maintains a line of communication between spouses and comes along with many other good things.

Tracy did not tell me her role in the communication break down  with X. She had not yet even told him of the infidelity. Hopefully she will find courage to share that fact with him as they work towards healing/mending their relationship. However she said that she liked her encounter with the married man because of the special care he gave her ; he  made her feel valuable and provided a welcoming environment. I find that this is one of the main reasons for cheating; as a relationship struggles with problems, another seemingly “better” person shows up to solve at least the emotional issues. Even though X had a role to play in this infidelity, Tracy also had a contribution by deciding not to talk about it with him.

Tracy also  said that she constantly turned down X`s intimate requests and advances. I told her how this hurts spouses so much since they expect this need to be met by their partners. She seemed to be surprised by what I told her. However, in the conversation, I noted she did not have interest in X any more. She however continues to leave with  him and their children as the other man is married to someone else.

I shared with her ideas of how she can help to change all this. My prayers go to their relationship.

Unfaithfulness comes about due to many reasons; lack of communication, lack of trust, waning love and affection etc. Sometimes only one partner is the cause but in many other cases both partners contribute to it to varying extents. Praying together, forgiveness, talking about problems and supporting one another go along way to help married couples to go through tough times and remain faithful to each other and God.