My prayer today

Dear God, My prayer today is not for you to increase my material possessions or physical prosperity. No, its not for me to be promoted at  work nor is it for me to gain the highest academic achievements. My prayer today is not for my family to become rich or for my relatives to become famous. I am not praying for an expensive car or for a mansion. I know that peace is not about what we have. Some things money just can`t buy . Those things that can`t perish nor can thieves steal. Joy and love do not require fat bank accounts for one to get them, neither does gold and silver guarantee happiness. The brevity of earthly life is indication to the wise that we should focus on what assures us of eternal happiness, yet many times our desire for immediate gratification clouds our judgement and discernment of right from wrong. I pray today that you grant me the favour to know you and our Lord Jesus. I pray that your spirit shall guide each and everything I do. I pray that seeking you and doing your will shall be my source of joy and happiness. I pray the same for my family, relatives , friends and all human kind. In Jesus` name I pray Amen

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What causes infidelity

Recently someone expressed regrets to something she did a fews years ago. Lets call her “Tracy” ( Not real name ). Tracy said that she cheated on her husband with a married man. In earlier years , Tracy had cherished their marriage and considered her self lucky to have a good husband.  Lets call him X .What then happened down the road that she could cheat on him?

I asked Tracy the same question and she gave me her response.  She was not receiving the same good treatment from X as she did before and the “emotional connection” between them had waned. He also constantly expressed anger over simple things which causes fear in her when around him. She finds it difficult to express her emotions and feelings to him which is also affecting their intimacy. Husbands are told in Ephesians  5: 25 to love their wives the way christ loved the church. Love  maintains a line of communication between spouses and comes along with many other good things.

Tracy did not tell me her role in the communication break down  with X. She had not yet even told him of the infidelity. Hopefully she will find courage to share that fact with him as they work towards healing/mending their relationship. However she said that she liked her encounter with the married man because of the special care he gave her ; he  made her feel valuable and provided a welcoming environment. I find that this is one of the main reasons for cheating; as a relationship struggles with problems, another seemingly “better” person shows up to solve at least the emotional issues. Even though X had a role to play in this infidelity, Tracy also had a contribution by deciding not to talk about it with him.

Tracy also  said that she constantly turned down X`s intimate requests and advances. I told her how this hurts spouses so much since they expect this need to be met by their partners. She seemed to be surprised by what I told her. However, in the conversation, I noted she did not have interest in X any more. She however continues to leave with  him and their children as the other man is married to someone else.

I shared with her ideas of how she can help to change all this. My prayers go to their relationship.

Unfaithfulness comes about due to many reasons; lack of communication, lack of trust, waning love and affection etc. Sometimes only one partner is the cause but in many other cases both partners contribute to it to varying extents. Praying together, forgiveness, talking about problems and supporting one another go along way to help married couples to go through tough times and remain faithful to each other and God.

Love, unconditional love.

Some time in the eighties we had to flee from a war zone after an alert  that our home and surrounding area was going to be battle ground. I was very young then but  this is one of the events I clearly remember. There wasn’t enough time to prepare for the journey, it was all sudden – just imagine what happens when your house suddenly catches fire and you have to flee! This situation was similar to that.  We were moving in a big group, all of us running or walking but no one was driving . There was wide spread pandemonium.

As we we hastily but carefully looked for a safe place to go, one of the ladies realized that one of her sons was missing in the group. I saw unconditional love at play. She entrusted her other two children to their dad and started going back to the area we were leaving. I clearly understand what was going on in her mind, her son was in imminent danger. It was this same danger she was leading her self into by going back but this didn’t matter to her , all she wanted was to find her son safe. We would later learn that her son had some how moved with another group of people and was safe.

I don’t want in any way to compare what she did to what our God did by sending His son Jesus to save this world. Rather I just want to give an example of unconditional love.

What an amazing God who showed great love to us by sending His son to save us from sinful nature and deliver us from unrighteousness! ( John 3:16)

Lets remember His love towards us and pass it on to others.

Merry Christmas,

Blamed for something you did not do, how do you react?

Aside

We all want a life full of peace and no strife , hurting , discords or anything in the same category. Unfortunately as most of us grow up we find that this isn’t always the case . One of the most hurting occurrences every one will very likely face many times in their life is being blamed for something they did not do; or being wrongly perceived or judged. The potential consequences of the blame range from being trivial in some cases to serious in others. This depends on what the blame is and the relationship you have with the person doing so. But whatever the consequence , whether trivial or serious no one wants to be held responsible for  something they did not do. So what does one do in this case?

I know many of you have many interesting and good answers to this and am eager to read them. Please feel free to share them if its ok with you . My discussion today is what not to do in such instances. How we respond to those who have misjudged us whether friends or relatives, strangers or otherwise has an important part to play in the state of our internal peace. Almost every human being has the ability to talk back in a raised voice and to exhibit aggression whether active or passive, but our strength is judged by our ability to remain loving , peaceful and calm in such situations. I know it is easier said than done, but getting along with folks requires a willingness to hurt without revenge or fighting back.

When death is seemingly imminent, what goes on in the mind?

“I have some bad news”. I listened carefully because these words were not familiar in this setting. Those that followed would set off a series of thoughts in my mind that I`ve never had before. “The left sided engine has got….” That’s all my mind could take in for a while as it came to reality that the left engine of the plane we had boarded had a problem, passengers seated on the left row remember seeing smoke coming from it. We all later felt the plane losing balance as the pilot said he was flying back to Johannesburg after only 20mins of being air borne. The shaking increased as we descended and the smoldering from the left engine continued.

The journey back was a terrifying one to all of us. I had never been so scared in my life. I went through the well-known stages of grief within 20 minutes only. This usually happens in individuals with terminal illnesses.

I know every one would like to hear the events that followed ,but what I want to share today is what went through my mind in those twenty minutes. I imagine many people think about the same when facing death. Before that trip I had many plans , just like many of us but one thing I remember is that only a few of the plans I had really counted. The financial, career, prosperity plans really don`t matter. The three things I remember thinking about are : What has my relationship with God been like?; What  have I done for the people I love most? And why have I wasted so much time running after things that don`t matter in life? A quick self-assessment showed me that I hadn’t been doing well.. As I went through the last stage of grief which is acceptance, I begged for forgiveness from God- I repented for all the sins that I had committed. I realized that God forgives those who repent of their sins (1 John 1: 9) and knew very well that Jesus forgives our sins. But then after “accepting” the imminent death , I wondered how my loved ones will take the bad news, and how life is going to be… I then begged God for another chance to live.

Since then I very much know that the many things we commonly chase on earth really don’t matter. We usually leave out the most important things in life and pursue the “perishable” and those that don`t matter. When we are facing death  what really counts is how we have lived our lives, whether God approves of them or not and how we have treated our loved ones and those we don`t know.

A unique, special feeling on being kind to a stranger

Hello friends, opportunities to be kind to strangers ( In fact I mean all persons) should never pass you by. Iv`e missed some of them personally and  this came with regrets. Running through my mind in such instances was ” I should have done this for them, or may be I go back and say this or do that….” and so on. Currently I do my best to be kind to strangers- what a pleasant experience! Today some one in a store we visited with my family  showed unreserved kindness to us. In addition to the satisfaction we got from his service, I wondered how wonderful he must have felt on being kind to us!